Safety In The Body

The Cliffnotes

There is a lot of information in this module to draw from, to inform your understanding. The most essential lessons to complete before moving on to the next, would be the following lectures and activities:

  • 3-Charge in The Body (45 min)
    • Activity: Watch the demos for activating and deactivating breath (12 min)
  • 5-Accessing Your Intuition (15 min)
  • 7-Reclaiming The Body (14 min)
    • (skip first activity)
    • Second Activity: Reclaiming the Body Gratitude Exercise (20-30 min)




“How can I trust my intuition? How do I know if my feelings are real?”

If you are reading this text, you probably already know  I am a creative arts therapist, author, educator and energy healer with over 15 years of clinical experience. 

But I also happen to be a divorced single mom with a history of disrupted attachments in childhood, which bled into rocky romantic relationships in adulthood. 

Over time, layers of loss and grief became compounded, until a confluence of very difficult events in my life was catalyzed by yet another romantic heartbreak, which included a miscarriage. At the same time, I lost my job and was caring for multiple family members with chronic illnesses. The stress and emotional pain forced me into a new level of self examination. 

This heartbreak was different for a variety of reasons. It was the cherry on top. The straw that broke the camel’s back. And as a result, I experienced a psycho-spiritual breakdown...and ultimately, breakthrough.

But it didn’t come without reading a TON of self-help books, textbooks, and research on  attachment theory, and how it might be manifesting in my adult relationships. It also didn’t come without asking myself difficult questions.

On the one hand, I felt like I HAD known, all along, the way this relationship was going to end. I could look back at every instance in which I had thought to myself, “Oh, god. I should just walk away NOW.” 

But I didn’t. 

I wanted one more kiss. One more night. One more laugh. One more moment of connection and feeling special in the spotlight of someone else’s attention. But as the “one-mores” added up, I was digging myself a deeper hole, until it felt impossible to go a day without this person in my life. 

And my body felt like my enemy. It yearned, ached, desired, and burned for this partner. 

My head said, “not a good idea” and my body said, “one more hit.” 

My body didn’t belong to me. It belonged to my partner. I had given it to him. And I had put him in charge of my sexuality too.

And when the relationship finally arrived at its inevitable end, I was furious with myself and with my body. 

“How can I trust myself anymore?” I would lament. “How can I trust my own intuition? How can I know if my feelings are real? If it was all just a projection of messed up childhood stuff, do I even know what love is anyway? Were either of us really even in this relationship? Or was it all just an illusion? How can I know anything?”

But I did know. I was so mad at myself because, deep down, I had always known. I just didn’t know which voice should be in charge.

For a time, this anger and distrust of myself blurred my vision of all the wonderful and amazing things I experienced as a result of that relationship. My attachment to that specific partner held me back from realizing the full purpose of our relationship, which, I came to believe, was to step more fully into the expansion of love it had catalyzed for me. 

Ultimately, through researching and publishing my first book on the subject, Complicated Grief, Attachment and Art Therapy: Theory, Treatment and 14-Ready-to-Use Protocols, I was able to find my way to an expanded sense of meaning, purpose, and self, as a result of that experience. And the lessons and tools in the Hungry Love program are intended to help affect a similar explorative and transformational process, for you.

Much of what I will talk about in this lesson and those that come after, is informed by the research that went into my book, but also my own experiences with this topic. The gist of today’s lesson is about establishing safety in the body, so you can learn how to listen to yourself. 

1_Seeds of Distrust
2_7 Body Boundaries
3_Charge in the Body
4_Attachment & Survival Mode
5_Accessing Your Intuition
6_Emotional Vocabulary
7_Reclaiming the Body

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